Dear Everyone,

Today reminded me of the some of the most important things to me in my life, and even some of the biggest heart aches. It seems every year I've seen primary programs and have been filled with joy as I watch these little children do their best to perform! They seem to always make you laugh whether one is picking their nose, or the other jumps off the steps to the pulpit with a loud BOOM! Today's primary program hard a much stronger effect upon me than one ever has before.

As I sat watching the children my mind began to be filled with those usual random day dreams. I saw myself as a father watching my children get up and talk. It seemed as each child got up I could feel how proud each parent was of their child. My heart swelled as I imagined my own little girl running up to the pulpit and smiling while muttering her line quickly then running back to her seat. As that thought hit me I could barely hold back the overwhelming spirit as each child showed their own individual worth and personality. I pictured my self holding my baby like Brother's Smith and Crews do every Sunday in Elders quorum. Bouncing them up and down so they don't cry. I can't even comprehend the trust God has in us to let us have stewardship over these magnificent beings. My heart hurt badly as I thought of how proud my own father was of me. I remember asking him about the past and he told me the most important thing to him in his life was the moments when he'd be at the football field rooting for my brother and I. He was so proud when parents would come up and say were glad Nate is on the team. He did his best to capture every epic play on his camera. He wanted so badly to simply honor us and make us feel good. He just wanted us to know that no matter what happened we should know that we are his and that he had an eternal love for us no matter the outcome. I know my Father in Heaven feels the same way with a perfect love.

The most burdening thought then came to mind and I just couldn't handle it, I had to distract myself with other things. I remembered forsaking my parents and the blessings they had continually bestowed upon me. I remember not waiting to see my family because I was so frustrated. It wasn't till today through the spirit and the example of the primary children that I was very humbled. In fact, I was so humbled I felt as though I have no hope to receive honor from my children because of my own lack. To expect those things would be hypocritical. This brings it all back to the appreciation for the opportunity to repent, the blessing to know that repentance is real and that Christ has paved the way for healing and forgiveness. He makes all things possible! Do I deserve a second chance? Do I make a fool of myself every day? Do I fail as a missionary every day? Am I exactly what I should be? I'm afraid I fall short every day and have all my life. As a believer of Christ and one who has experienced personal revelation through the Spirit of God I can testify that healing and a brightened hope are just around the corner. As we act upon the teachings of the Gospel and recognize the spirit working in our lives we will become a true part of the family God. For in Romans it say, "The spirit it'self beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ. If it so be that we suffer with him. That we may be glorified together." In order to suffer with Christ we need not cause ourselves pain but simply let ourselves recognize the spirit of God and act upon the promptings and teachings of the Lord's prophets. We have Christ's 12 apostles on the earth today. We have a prophet and his two counselors. They are holy men and they know the Lord. We will not be lead astray. As one who has strayed, but is continually found, I can testify from experience that God loves his children. That is what we all are. Just as you love your family and would die for them so would he. Hence he let his only physical child be slaughtered like a lamb. He did this that we might be saved also, for he loves us just as much as Christ even in the continuous ungrateful way we live. I pray the Father's blessing upon you all in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.