Dear Everyone,

Today reminded me of the some of the most important things to me in my life, and even some of the biggest heart aches. It seems every year I've seen primary programs and have been filled with joy as I watch these little children do their best to perform! They seem to always make you laugh whether one is picking their nose, or the other jumps off the steps to the pulpit with a loud BOOM! Today's primary program hard a much stronger effect upon me than one ever has before.

As I sat watching the children my mind began to be filled with those usual random day dreams. I saw myself as a father watching my children get up and talk. It seemed as each child got up I could feel how proud each parent was of their child. My heart swelled as I imagined my own little girl running up to the pulpit and smiling while muttering her line quickly then running back to her seat. As that thought hit me I could barely hold back the overwhelming spirit as each child showed their own individual worth and personality. I pictured my self holding my baby like Brother's Smith and Crews do every Sunday in Elders quorum. Bouncing them up and down so they don't cry. I can't even comprehend the trust God has in us to let us have stewardship over these magnificent beings. My heart hurt badly as I thought of how proud my own father was of me. I remember asking him about the past and he told me the most important thing to him in his life was the moments when he'd be at the football field rooting for my brother and I. He was so proud when parents would come up and say were glad Nate is on the team. He did his best to capture every epic play on his camera. He wanted so badly to simply honor us and make us feel good. He just wanted us to know that no matter what happened we should know that we are his and that he had an eternal love for us no matter the outcome. I know my Father in Heaven feels the same way with a perfect love.

The most burdening thought then came to mind and I just couldn't handle it, I had to distract myself with other things. I remembered forsaking my parents and the blessings they had continually bestowed upon me. I remember not waiting to see my family because I was so frustrated. It wasn't till today through the spirit and the example of the primary children that I was very humbled. In fact, I was so humbled I felt as though I have no hope to receive honor from my children because of my own lack. To expect those things would be hypocritical. This brings it all back to the appreciation for the opportunity to repent, the blessing to know that repentance is real and that Christ has paved the way for healing and forgiveness. He makes all things possible! Do I deserve a second chance? Do I make a fool of myself every day? Do I fail as a missionary every day? Am I exactly what I should be? I'm afraid I fall short every day and have all my life. As a believer of Christ and one who has experienced personal revelation through the Spirit of God I can testify that healing and a brightened hope are just around the corner. As we act upon the teachings of the Gospel and recognize the spirit working in our lives we will become a true part of the family God. For in Romans it say, "The spirit it'self beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ. If it so be that we suffer with him. That we may be glorified together." In order to suffer with Christ we need not cause ourselves pain but simply let ourselves recognize the spirit of God and act upon the promptings and teachings of the Lord's prophets. We have Christ's 12 apostles on the earth today. We have a prophet and his two counselors. They are holy men and they know the Lord. We will not be lead astray. As one who has strayed, but is continually found, I can testify from experience that God loves his children. That is what we all are. Just as you love your family and would die for them so would he. Hence he let his only physical child be slaughtered like a lamb. He did this that we might be saved also, for he loves us just as much as Christ even in the continuous ungrateful way we live. I pray the Father's blessing upon you all in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Hello Everyone!
I wanted to share some things I've learned as I've been able this past week to really search for answers to some questions of my soul. It seems as though we all have had experiences in life that have caused us the most deep physical and spiritual pain. Some of the people I love most have been hurt by others and it has killed their hope and trust in others. Wether it be an abusive relationship, immoral parents, or the bullying by other people as a whole it all causes deep pain and sorrow. These experiences can be used as Satan's tool to hinder us from progression towards a better life with trusting friends and family. In the back of your mind do you always get that feeling or thought that goes, "I can't trust anyone ever again." "I must avoid the men, or woman, they are all the same, there out to hurt me." It is even worse when you have tried to put trust in someone after already being hurt and it happens again! I'm writing to testify today that there is hope for a brighter future and by the Spirit of God I pray you might have a better understanding of how to discern the direction in your life and act in faith to over the pain and wounds that hold you back from having everything you've ever wanted.

The first step would be to seek the healing of Christ through faith in Him and His atonement. As we act upon the invitations of Christ we will feel the healing power begin to work within us. Prayer, ask for help and healing. Service, go out and serve. Attend church, partake of the sacrament and serve others. Seek to learn in church. Preach the gospel and share the gospel with others by inviting them to learn from the missionaries in your home. Repent, do all you can to forsake and make restitution for those things you have done wrong. If you haven't been baptized then prepare and repent in order to be baptized. Receive the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands and for those who are members receive the Holy Ghost by cleansing your self physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Lay down your burdens in your mind and heart and let Heavenly Father know your worries. Express yourself and ask that He will help your problems be wrapped up in His spirit, love, and atonement so that they are no more. LET IT GO. Don't let those things be a part of you anymore or who you are. Fill, accept, and magnify all of your callings. Seek for a hobby. Keep yourself busy in the service of your fellow man and your God. There are so many things you can do, but as you read the scriptures, understand the doctrine, listen to the spirit and promptings you feel, the Lord will manifest healing and truth in the faith or action you exert and healing will happen I promise.

Here is a way to discern if your current desires are real and true. I'll show unto you the way to judge, "for anything that inviteth and enticeth to do good and believe in Christ is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ. Wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge that it is of God." As you are making friends, dating, courting, and married. You can tell if people, actions, and activities are good by if they are inviting you do good and draw unto Christ. If you are continually feeling the confirmation of the spirit when you are doing something, and your surround by stimulus that persuades you to keep the commandments and keep the commandments you can know for a surety that it is of Christ. Absolutely anything that pushes you to not do good things and diminishes the spirit is not of God or of Christ. If you've been feeling that fire of the spirit comforting you lately prompting you to act in faith and do something you've never done before you might be scared. That fear is natural. As natural human beings we are all a little wary of the unknown but as we trust in the invitation and the spirit we felt I know we will find the greatest strengths and bonds we have ever felt in our lives and we will draw closer to Christ. We will be able to relationships and friendships we've always wanted. I testify that Christ can heal our hearts and can cleanse us as we repent. If we are hurt and scared what will happen, simply lay out your plan for the Lord and ask if it be His will. When you feel that comfort go for it! If you've already felt that spirit confirming the truth of your desire then just go for it! Simply act in faith, and test if it is truly of God. The Spirit will manifest all things and as you open your heart, if it be right. The rest will take care of it's self because I know God has an amazing plan for you. I testify of this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen